French communication style

The word Bonjour is fundamental: it is said on entering any shop, office, surgery, lift or bus to those in it, and they reply likewise.

• In the late afternoon Bonsoir then Bonne soirée, and on parting Au revoir, Bonne journée and À bientôt.
• And S'il vous plaît, Merci, De rien, Excusez-moi and Pardon are said a lot.
• On entering a small place greet before asking for something: starting directly with a question without a greeting is considered rude.
• You are addressed as Monsieur, Madame and Mademoiselle (the last has declined).
• And on the phone you introduce yourself: Bonjour, ici Marie Dupont.
• And in the queue keep away from crowding others.
• And ignoring a greeting or courtesy is less accepted than an error in the language.
• Smile and be polite, since courtesy opens doors.

Vous is a formal form singular and plural used with strangers, the elderly, officials, clients, teachers, doctors and in first meetings, and tu is a friendly form with friends, family, children, close colleagues and young people.

• Do not switch to tu without invitation, and the elder usually offers On peut se tutoyer ?
• or Tu peux me tutoyer.
• In modern and tech companies tu is common among colleagues even with the manager, and in formal circles and luxury shops vous remains.
• And moving to tu is considered a sign of trust and closeness.
• And in written French vous is used unless with a friend.
• And the pronoun changes with the sentence (tu es, vous êtes), so pay attention.
• And if you do not know use vous since an error in it is less harmful than early tu. And children are not usually addressed with vous.

The French love debate and argument (argumenter) and consider it a social and intellectual skill, and schools are built on the dissertation (the structured essay with a thesis, antithesis and synthesis).

• In dialogue you may be interrupted and your opinion opposed frankly Je ne suis pas d'accord or Ce n'est pas tout à fait exact, and this does not mean hostility but interest in the discussion.
• And you are expected to defend your opinion with arguments and accept the reply.
• Express your opinion tactfully À mon avis… and Personnellement, je pense que….
• And people are not criticised but ideas, and respect is maintained.
• And on sensitive subjects (religion, politics, money and racism) caution with strangers is preferable.
• And the French may be direct in criticism but value politeness in wording.
• And complaining (râler) is an accepted social activity and does not always mean real dissatisfaction.

On meeting people in formal circles shake hands warmly with direct eye contact, and among friends, relatives and close colleagues la bise, kissing the cheeks (usually twice and reaching four depending on the region) between the sexes and between women, and among men they shake hands or kiss in the family.

• Do not begin kissing with those you do not know, and wait for their initiative.
• If you do not shake hands or kiss the opposite sex for religious reasons you can put your hand on your chest with a smile and Enchanté and most people understand, and explain gently.
• Personal distance is closer than in Britain.
• Among gestures: shrugging the shoulders (haussement d'épaules) I do not know, blowing pfff to express boredom, and voilà and bof are common signs.
• And speak in a moderate tone, and do not raise your voice in public places and do not phone loudly on the train.
• And looking in the eyes is a sign of sincerity.

The French use WhatsApp, Messenger, SMS and email, and in formal messages formulas are followed: Madame, Monsieur at the start and Cordialement or Je vous prie d'agréer… at the end, and among friends Salut, Coucou and Bises.

• A reply is expected within a working day, and replying after working hours is not necessarily required (droit à la déconnexion).
• Emojis are used in moderation.
• Common mistakes include: not saying Bonjour on entering, starting conversation directly with a question, using tu with elders without invitation, raising the voice, imposing opinion, ignoring spelling errors in formal writing (the French care much about spelling), not thanking the waiter and seller, and being late for appointments without informing (a small tolerance before private invitations).
• And remember that the French value your attempt in French even if you err, so begin with it.

What do you say on entering a shop?