Social situations: neighbours, birthdays and clubs

Introduce yourself to your neighbours when you move with a simple greeting, a card or a short introduction at the door, and you can announce a party in advance with a card in the letterboxes.

• Dutch people care about their home, garden and surroundings, so clean the pavement and put the rubbish out on time.
• Especially in villages and small neighbourhoods neighbours know each other and take turns caring for plants and cats when travelling.
• Many areas run WhatsApp groups for neighbourhoods, and a buurtfeest, that is a neighbourhood party, is held in summer.
• Ask your neighbours about local places and services.
• And tell them you want to practise Dutch, since many welcome helping you.

A birthday is an important social occasion in the Netherlands.

• A verjaardagsvisite is held at the birthday person's home with or without a formal invitation, so relatives and friends drop by and stay for hours with coffee and cake.
• Sitting in a circle (kringverjaardag) is common: those present sit on chairs around the room, each is congratulated, and everyone begins kissing those present three times, and you say Gefeliciteerd!
• meaning congratulations, then congratulate relatives Gefeliciteerd met je moeder!
• meaning congratulations on your mother.
• Bring a small gift or flowers.
• If you do not drink alcohol there is no problem, and coffee, tea and juice are available.
• You are usually not expected to stay more than two to three hours.
• And close friends are invited to dinner.

The Dutch have a strong tradition of membership in clubs (vereniging): football, hockey, swimming, tennis, riding and gymnastics, music, theatre and singing clubs, and neighbourhood and community associations.

• They are the best place to meet people, practise the language and integrate.
• Subscriptions are simple, and may be supported by the municipality for low-income families through Jeugdfonds Sport & Cultuur.
• Members are often expected to help with events, coaching and running the canteen, which is part of the club spirit.
• And volunteering (vrijwilligerswerk) is widespread in schools, care homes, hospitals, food banks and social centres, and is an excellent gateway to work and learning the language.
• Register via NLvoorElkaar or your city's volunteer centre.

Do not wait for others to invite you, take the initiative yourself to invite a colleague or neighbour to a coffee, a walk or an activity.

• Dutch people plan in advance, so suggest a specific date.
• Keep in touch regularly, since friendship needs planned dates.
• You may notice they say we moeten een keer afspreken meaning we must meet sometime, which is sometimes a courtesy, so turn it kindly into a real appointment.
• You find friends at work, clubs, language cafés, schools, parents' groups, churches, mosques, hobby groups and apps such as Meetup and Facebook.
• Dutch people may seem frank but are loyal once friendship forms, and many are kind and welcoming to newcomers.

The Netherlands is a secular country that protects freedom of religion and expression, and Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists and non-religious people live there.

• You may be asked about your clothes, food or religion, and you can answer calmly and simply if you wish.
• Frank debate about religion and politics is usually accepted, so do not be surprised.
• You may sometimes face offensive or racist comments or discriminatory practices at work, housing or daily life.
• Do not stay silent: document the incident and report it to the anti-discrimination office (Antidiscriminatievoorziening) in your municipality, the Discriminatie.nl site or the police in a case of assault or hate.
• There are associations that offer psychological and legal support.
• And take part in interfaith activities organised by mosques and churches to strengthen ties.

What is a verjaardagsvisite?